Steven Universe: Reflections
by terrietont
Summary: Lapis fled earth with the barn in her grasp. She left Peridot, Steven and Pumpkin behind. Afraid a war was coming to earth, she wasn't ready to fight or face it.
1. Chapter 1

Lapis finds herself on a barren planet. A cold isolated terrain with only the barn to keep her company. She couldn't even watch any TV. The whole place was grey and lifeless.

Like an empty dark moon. Lapis sat, knees in her chest starring silently into space. Her blue hair ruffled and wavy. No wind to help it Dance gracefully, just tilted in front of her face.

Even the ocean of the planet was still and lifeless. Nothing inside except empty space.

With her eyes squeezed tight feeling watery at the back of her eyelids.

She sighed deeply. It got too quiet. She missed the occasional grumbling, barking and "nyehe heh heh" laugh from her barnmate. Peridot wasn't happy about going with her.

Lapis was devistated. The last thing she saw was Peridot's face starring at her in disbelief.

She couldn't handle seeing her once Go-lucky roommate so emotional.

Not even Pumpkin wanted to leave. She was so distraught about the diamonds finding her. She didn't want to get trapped again.

She started feeling her eyes well up, remembering Steven's reaction as she was about to leave. Steven was going to put her on the verge of tears.

All the progress and all the joy she felt being in the barn with someone was only a memory. She then realized how broken she really was.

The barn mean't nothing right now.

All the meepmorps and objects scattered around the barn were still and grey. Everything was lifeless.

The blue gem walked into the barn and saw a pile of Peridot's meepmorps scattered around. She saw Peridot's alien plush lying in a pool of water.

She gently picked up the soaking doll and looked at it's large black eyes. She looked down and found the red bow tie Peridot would wear on occasional meet ups with gems. She held the bow tie close to her chest.

Lapis took both the doll and the bow tie to the ground of the terrain and placed them on the surface.

She frowned deeply looking away from the objects before she got emotional.

Lapis inhaled and felt the ground shake. A large pool of water came up from the ground. With her eyes kept closed, she waved the water around gently and made some kind of pattern.

She flew up into the planet's atmosphere and saw what she had generated.

The water was shaped into illustrations of Peridot and Steven smiling at her.

Lapis's lips trembled, she felt her cheeks becoming wet.

Tears rolled down her eyes.

But she couldn't return. She just couldn't.

She held her hands across her mouth in hopeless shock. She was a prisoner again. A prisoner of her own emotions.

She wasn't escaping anything, she was right back to square one. History had indeed repeated itself.

Alone. Afraid. Unable to communicate.

She cupped her water wings around herself cocooning in sorrow inside the barn.

What has she done?...

How could she just betray them like that?!

Jasper was right... she was a monster.

Now she was a monster alone. Left for nothing, no one. No company, no friends, no plants, animals or life anywhere. The planet was but a barren empty cold wasteland, lifeless cold water and no living things.

A perfect mockery of herself. The only difference was there was now evidence displayed everywhere on the planet's surface about how lonely and miserable she really was.

She wasn't healing, she wasn't helping herself or anyone.

She was hiding. Fleeing. Abandoning her life because of her fear.

A few hours of sitting in silence, Lapis began terraforming more of the planet's surface. She molded rocks with her water into giant statues of Steven. She shaped rocks into pumpkins and she created a water Peridot as a substitute. The only kind she could ever get.

She forced a smile and spoke through the water dot.

"Lapis, we must watch some more of Camp Pining hearts: I must know that Percy and Pierre get together even though I have terrible opinions on the characters" Lapis chuckled softly mocking her EX roommate sadly.

Lapis then formed a water version of Pumpkin.

"Peridot, let's try and slow it down" Lapis mumbled.

Lapis attempted making Pumpkin's barking noise as the water pumpkin jumped up joyfully.

"Lapis! Can we go for another flight?" Lapis said through a water Steven.

"Sure thing Steven!" She replied back to the water figure.

"Not before we watch our rerun of Camp Pining hearts season 3!" Water Peridot replied.

Lapis chuckled. "Of course Peridot!"

Lapis sighed becoming strained and tired of pretending to see her friends again. The water melted and formed lifeless puddles.

"There's no need to get so emotional!" Lapis's own words echoed in her mind. She frowned sharply. She was getting emotional. She told Peridot NOT to get emotional... but she was already getting emotional.

"I'm not getting caught in the middle of another war..." Lapis's last words to Peridot echoed through her mind. She held her head pained.

She still can't believe the last thing she said was so... cowardly.

She chuckled angrily at herself. "You said you wouldn't get caught in another war... but look at you now" she said.

"You've been in a war all this time." She said darkly to herself.

"They don't deserve you" Lapis said darkly as she summoned more water around her.

She yelled out and drew the many waves of water out into the air and pounded them into the planet's surface creating a distrucitve quake and spreading water and rock everywhere until everything was in ruin.

She just destroyed her terraforming of her friend's back on earth, but like she destroyed their trust in her before.

All the water on the planet soon flood everywhere from her destructive outburst. Lapis saw the destruction before her and collapsed on her knees into a pool beneath her feet in devistation. Sobbing loudly while constant flooding of tears dripping down to her chin and into the water.

She held her face only tears seeping through.

All the emotional trauma, all the tears and all the sadness that had been bottling up inside her were released with a massive force of earth's ocean flooding the entire moon-like planet instantly.

She couldn't move. She couldn't think. She just lay there. Crying.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 10:

Lapis Lazuli stops starring at her EX roommate's meepmorps. She couldn't take her eyes off them. They just sat there, still and dead.

Just like her trust and her promises. Earth was her home. She wanted to go back, but facing Earth again would mean facing the diamonds... the war... and the mirror.

Fear took hold of her, like the chains of malachite dragging her down into the bottom of the ocean. Not even Malachite could give her so much sorrow.

As horrible as it was, she wasn't alone as Malachite. She had someone to speak to, even if it was Jasper and her outburst of fury and vengeance.

Lapis reflected that she had hurt Jasper, even though she still wanted more. Jasper wanted her power, because she knew how to control it.

"I thought I was a brute, but you. You're a monster" the truth. Lapis suddenly realized how right Jasper was.

She was a monster. She was a coward and she deserved to be back in the mirror or back as a fusion.

She then realized. Peridot was without a home. Lapis has the planet to terraform.

Lapis took a deep breath and raised the barn. She dropped it back down feeling her anxiety act up. She can't just go back! Even if it was to return the barn... she can't!

A strange sound came behind as she looked shocked at the floating bubble in the barn. It was a green bubble with a piece of paper inside it.

She shakily grabbed the paper and unbubbled it.

 _Dear Lapis._

 _I know this seems bizarre because I'm sending this_ _through a bubble, it's because I considered the barn to be my home and you told me about the green bubble being sent there._

 _Anyways, before I continue mumbling I just wanted to speak to you again, even if we won't be able to communicate. Unless somehow you bubble something and it ends up back at the temple or something. I just realized I'm mumbling again_ _I have to stop before I mess up the letter._

 _Anyway I just wanted_ _to know how you were. Space is pretty big and I hope you're somewhere safe. I miss you. Steven_ _Misses you. Pumpkin misses you._

 _I hear_ _her cry at night sometimes. Other times I hear myself cry at night. Crying is kind of a humiliating thing..._

 _Steven, Amethyst and I have been planting things all over the outside of temple. I tried_ _to plant things in the kindergarten_ _but it didn't work._

 _The crystal gems have been really helping_ _me get through this._

 _I care about you and I can't think straight_ _anymore._

 _Please come back._

 _Peridot_

Lapis felt her lips tremble. The letter was getting soaked in her tears. She couldn't take it anymore.

Peridot was in grief. She left her and Pumpkin and Steven... how could she do something so selfish!

Alas, fear was greater than her hope.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 30

Already weeks had gone by and not once she didn't regret leaving.

She had no one. Nothing. Only her guilt and fear to

Keep her company.

Another green bubble entered the barn.

It was a photo of Peridot, Amethyst and Pumpkin with a few gardening tools and flowers.

The caption said

 _Amethyst and I planting flowers!_

 _Miss you lots_

 _-Peridot_

Lapis smiled sadly looking at how happy she was getting.

She wished she could be just as happy. But to no avail, the happiness died thousands of years ago.

Any sign for joy was lost.

Another green bubble entered the barn. It was a picture of Peridot and Amethyst pulling funny faces in a camera.

 _By the way. Amethyst and I took some immature photographs. I put the caption L. O. L. Did you know it means "laugh out loud"? Weird right?_

 _-Peridot_

Lapis chuckled. She remembered how funny Peridot was. Peridot once bent over backwards "literally" to cheer Lapis up. It was a funny and generous thing to do.

Lapis was thankful for such a good companion.

She frowned then remembering her companion was light years away...

She was alone.

Forever.


	4. Chapter 4

Day 50

The barn gem lay on her side in the hammock. She never realized how many restless nights she had in the barn. No waking up to obnoxious laughter or playful barking. Just the cold whispering ambience of the planet.

She wasn't able to sleep for any of the days. She didn't need to, but it made her feel better about doing stuff and being around other people.

But there was no other people. No gems, no humans, no animals: nothing. Not even vegetation was present. Water was the only thing closests to earth on the planet. But even the water was dull and still.

Nothing could ever change that.


	5. Chapter 5

Day 120

She was now alone. No barn, no planet, no sound. Just small rock floating in space with a blue gem lying on it.

No movement, no actions, just still.

She lay still. There was no point in trying to do anything. She was still hiding. Sure she returned the barn, but that didn't help her. She still felt incomplete.

She might as well be stuck in the mirror again. Or captured by Homeworld or shattered. Anything was just a terrible as being alone in space surrounded by your own guilt and fear.


End file.
